15 PK Subban, NHL 17 (91)
Here’s the issue. Off the bat, I’m a PK Subban fan. I think he’s somewhat of a wizard on the ice. I was pretty dumbfounded when he was traded to the Nashville Predators for Shea Weber. That note aside, the trade seemed to pay off, and the evidence is noticeable in the Predators’ remarkable playoff run, all the way to the conference finals for the first time in their 19 year history. Nashville’s success is in large part due to PK himself.
Don’t get me wrong, Shea Weber is a beast, and was considered the driving force behind the Predators defensive identity for a long time. His rating in the game, however, is at a 94 and PK was much lower in consideration. So what’s the beef, EA? I don’t get it.
14 Shawn Chambers, NHLPA 93 (1)
Shawn Who? Exactly. I don’t really know either. He is most forgettable. However, Shawn Chambers is remembered in another way, in ridicule and with merciless laughter, maybe produced by fellow teammates and especially by fans of NHLPA93. Here’s the story.
Shawn Chambers is the lowest ranked athlete in sports history, epitomized in hockey gaming lore. He is a horrendous defenseman, employed by the Tampa Bay Lightning, with an abysmal rating of 1/100. If you’ve had the chance to play this game, you would know that he is as bad as you would imagine, which is not comparable to real life, of course. In the game, he is incredibly slow like some geriatric old-timer, missing every puck and every opportunity he gets. He is the Happy Gilmore of NHLPA93, without the terrifying, glass shattering slap shot.
13 Patrice Bergeron, NHL 18 (87)
Patrice Bergeron. Yeah he’s good, damn good. I would consider him one of the best all-around players in the league, even though he plays for the Boston Bruins. Whatever, no big deal. I’ll get over it. Let’s not get all tangled up about it.
But why on earth does he get such a low ranking? He won the Selke Trophy four times! Doesn’t that mean anything?! Apparently not, according to EA. Maybe I’m missing something. Let’s go through it. He’s dependable, annually top-rated as a centerman, and has the half-breed spirit of a defensive player. Any team would be lucky to have him. The NHL Network ranked him 11th as leading centers. Why so low? He’s definitely better than Ryan Getzlaf, but that’s just like, my opinion, man.
12 Jeremy Roenick, NHLPA 93 (91)
What?! Am I crazy?! You might be shaking your heads in disapproval. Why would Roenick even be on this list? You fool! For one thing, if you’ve ever played NHLPA 93, you would know that Roenick is an absolute God King in that game, and somewhat untouchable. It was almost impossible to beat the Chicago Blackhawks because of Roenick, and it was even a rule, amongst college students, that you couldn’t play with the Blackhawks, because they we’re that unstoppable. Even if you we’re from Chicago, it was still frowned upon.
Roenick’s image was even glorified in the movie Swingers, starring Vince Vaughn. The humble NHL star himself considered his rating as flattery, but he was still faster than your internet connection.
11 Leon Draisailt, NHL 18 (87)
Leon the professional had a slight increase to his previous rating in NHL 17, which was marked at a modest 84. This year, NHL 18 has designed a new rating system, which delineates the array of talent. The superstar players like Crosby and McDavid, both ranked at 93, stand out more, meaning that their rankings affect play noticeably.
The 22-year-old German player should undoubtedly stand out, and he does. He has shown the propensity to be a star player, in the regular season and in the playoffs. Yes, he is firmly placed in the top 50 players, but I still think he deserves that extra edge, just a point or two. That’s all I’m saying. For good measure.
10 Martin Brodeur, NHL 13 (82)
This rating is disgraceful for the fact that Martin Brodeur is probably a future hall of famer, and the poor guy is ranked a less than exciting 82 in NHL 13. I know EA had to keep it real, and why would they even play favourites? It must somehow pain some of them to rate certain players poorly but it’s a cold reality out there, and it had to be done.
Even though he had a few surgeries, the guy still performed incredibly well in the playoffs. When you’re up against fast, young Europeans who make your heart flutter because you’re old and you’re on your eventual way to sweet, sweet death, then that has to count for something! Okay, he’s not that old, but my point is he still performed at an excellent level during his long stay with the New Jersey Devils and consistency should count for something. For the record, I want Martin to live a long life.
9 Marc Andre Fleury, NHL 17 (90)
Don’t get me wrong, I’m still a Marc-Andre Fleury fan. His diving save in game 7 against the Detroit Red Wings to win the Stanley Cup Finals in 2009 was a thing of beauty. But those days are gone, and we must be frank, and harsh. He was a backup goalie when NHL 17 was released. Their numbers were just plain wrong. How can you be considered that good when you’re sitting injured and out of play as a backup? It just doesn’t make sense, I tell you!
But a new season has arrived, and the Las Vegas Golden Knights are 7-1-0, and second in command in the Pacific Division. NHL 18 has been released, and Marc Andre was the first player to be revealed, holding an 86 overall. Unfortunately, he was recently placed on the injured reserve with a concussion. I think it’s only a matter of time before he returns though, to hold his ratings upright.
8 Ryan Hollweg, NHL 06 (51)
Umm, who the hell is Ryan Hollweg? Well yes, he played in the NHL, and for the sake of this list, he’s worth mentioning. He began his career in 2005, playing with the New York Rangers and drinking a lot of beer in the process. His hunger for points was never satisfied though, and he starved for it. In his 228 games in the NHL, he would only hit the back of the net 5 times. On another note, he only managed to pass the puck 9 times to his frustrated teammates, who rarely got to spend time with him on the bench, considering his overwhelming penalty box minutes rounded at 350 minutes.
And to top it off, he got a memorable, dirty stick right to the chin. Pretty rough ride, and probably undeserving of any rating over 50. Sorry for the harshness, but if you make it to the league, fans expect something a little more productive.
7 Artemi Panarin, NHL 17 (85)
EA, I object. Your punishment… well, nothing really. Just a contemptuous sneer, which will undoubtedly remain invisible to your monstrous, black hole of an eye. Because what kind of redeeming authority am I? The overall rating for Artemi is still questionable though and deserves a second look.
The Hawks’ winger, hailing from the Russian Federation, finished the season in top 10 for points, totalling 77. But Artemi Panarin didn’t even make the game’s top 50 players! Give the kid a chance! Any rookie making strides like that should be properly rewarded. If compared to other wingers in the league, like Johnny Goudreau for instance, holding a staggering 90 overall to impress his mother with, it just doesn’t seem fair. I blame communism, but even then the ratings would all be equal.
6 Eric Lindros, NHL 95 (85)
To some, Eric Lindros kind of resembles a shining star, and I say that because they were clearly visible circling his head after Scott Stevens destroyed his body and mind that one time in the offensive zone. However, that one bone-crushing hit basically ended his career and he would never be the same again.
Eric Lindros will also be remembered in other ways. Like for instance in 1994, while playing alongside the ‘Legion of Doom’ line with John LeClair and Mikael Renberg, helping the centerman tally a respectable 70 points throughout the season, and also winning the Hart trophy for the most valuable player. Also, the flyers made it all the way to the conference finals, and not counting the actual playoffs for the first time since 1989. That’s pretty special. For that reason alone, and holding personal bias in his favour, the rating is just too low.
5 Dustin Byfuglien, NHL 17 (91)
A 91?! Did I read that correctly? Dustin, what’s your secret? Did you pay off the EA game developers? I guess keeping up appearances is important, but this is preposterous.
On a positive note, the man is a tank. He can scare grown men away from the puck with his ogreish demeanour, and his teammates think he could play linebacker for the Bears. He also has a great slap shot and has put up good numbers in the past. More often than not his performance on the ice is subpar, and it seems to be in decline.
If Dustin were a stock option, I would sell right now. I bet you he doesn’t stand firm over the next season. His numbers dropped somewhat in NHL 18, ranked at 87, but not enough to keep him from holding a sacred top 50 spot.
4 John Scott, NHL 16 (74)
Yes, you’re right, John Scott can barely skate and he likes to ignite fights, but what is a big guy to do in NHL? Score goals? He isn’t Rick Nash, he’s John Scott! Did I mention that he’s John Scott? You remember, the guy who was sent to the minors but was also subsequently named team captain of the Pacific Division all-star team in 2016? I mean, he did only manage to score five goals and pass the puck once during his time with the Coyotes, but who’s counting? I’m definitely not.
He was also named MVP during that all-star game and appropriately hoisted onto his teammates’ shoulders to commemorate his sheer existence as a person, and the overwhelming fact that he’s John Scott. It was a magical ride. So for those reasons, mentioned above, you should have bumped it up. Yes, the ratings, EA! Up!
3 Jonathan Toews, NHL 17 (94)
Alright, who’s responsible for this, and what the hell is going on here? 58 points in 80 games and a 94 overall?! Thats comparable to studying 1 hour before finals and getting one of the best marks in the class. It just doesn’t make sense. Yes, Toews is an amazing player, but this rating is related to the season itself.
Ok, so breaking it down, Toews was missing some key elements to his game: Patrick Kane and Artemi Panarin as trusted wingers for the majority of the season. But this has nothing to do with the number of chances generated throughout the season, which Jonathan Toews was subject to regularly, comparable to lower rankings players. Translation: when you get the chance, you pull the trigger and you should hit the mark as a leading center, but this all fell short, and a lackluster season followed.
2 Steve Yzerman, NHL 94 (95)
Steve Yzerman was a clutch player, and there’s no way around it. He was always on the ice at the right time and scored some historic goals. The highest rated player in NHL 94 was Mario Lemieux, with a humble rating of 100, and deservedly so. But Steve Yzerman should have ranked higher than Alexander Mogilny, rated at 96. He should have been a 97! Even though Mogilny scored a ridiculous amount of goals that year, like 76 of them, I still think Yzerman should have etched him out in the ratings, a little.
I might be biased because I’m Canadian, or because I like the Yz so much, but just once I would have liked to see a 100 for the guy or at least a storyline similar to the God King himself, Jeremy Roenick. Break the game!
1 Jaromir Jagr, NHL 17 (87)
Jaromir Jagr is an absolute prize player in the NHL. He’s 45 years old and he still plays like a stallion, full of energy and with a young heart, reminiscent of his days in Pittsburg. He consistently brings effort to the game, and the young team he’s currently with, the Florida Panthers, are benefitting from his expertise, his soft hands and his determination to forge a name into hockey history and end his career on a high note. The iconic hair alone should bring him a rating over 90 and he should be treasured by every hockey fan.
The Czechoslovakian player is comfortably sandwiched between two Canadians, Wayne Gretzky and Mark Messier, as the second runner-up in all-time point leaders in the NHL, and deservedly so. He also deserves the top mention for unjust rating with an 87, even as a veteran. It’s criminal.
